Codependency

Codependency is a term used to describe a kind of addiction, a relationship addiction. A person is said to be
suffering from codependency when they exhibit caring for a loved one who is suffering from a real addiction to
drugs or alcohol. The behavior of the caring individual is said to hinder recovery of the real addict by enabling
the addict to continue the addiction.

Codependency makes it seem as if all caring for addicts is pathological.
What are some of the symptoms?
controlling behavior
distrust
perfectionism
avoidance of feelings
intimacy problems
caretaking behavior
hypervigilance (a heightened awareness for potential threat/danger)
physical illness
People with co-dependency may....have trouble saying no, have trouble asking for help, tailor their actions
and conversation around getting attention and approval from others, feel inferior to others/hold a lot of
self-doubt, have high expectations from others, most especially from significant others, and usually get highly
angry or irritated when they don't meet those expectations, focus a lot of mental time and attention on other
people, especially significant others, have difficulty maintaining a stable relationship with a partner, be in and
out of highly volatile (big ups and downs) relationships. They may be uncomfortable when not in a relationship,
be frequently depressed, usually related to stress. Types of enabling behavior include:
- Making excuses for the addict(I'll call your boss to tell him that you are sick again today.)
- Giving the addict a long string of "last chances"- Bailing them out of jail(again)
- Loaning them money(again)
ATTENTION: Enabling an addict does not make addiction the co-dependents fault.Remember: Negative
consequences are what helps the addict to achieve recovery! The loving thing to do may be letting them
happen.

A love-hate relationship is a personal relationship between humans, or figuratively between a human and an
inanimate object, like a computer, involving simultaneously or alternatively emotions of love and enmity. This
relationship may, or may not be of a romantic nature. The term comes from the way one may love the
object/person one moment, and yet the next moment feel great rage or hatred for it. For example a computer
may impress a user with amazing video game graphics one moment, yet the next moment it crashes at a key
point during the game. It often occurs when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving
relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other. An addiction is also
a kind of love-hate relationship.